omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
