Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
