Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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