even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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