I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
