what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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