The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
