butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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