I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
