Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
