How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
