wakey wakey hands off snakey
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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