i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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