oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
