you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
