it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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