Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
