Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
