i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
