kristin has been a bad kristin
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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