I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
