My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
