i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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