I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
