You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
