News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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