Im at strip club and am horny
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
