I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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