Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Everything about him screamed your future.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
