i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
