i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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