New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The uberlube is also flammable
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
