i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
