sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
