Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he was CRYING into my vagina
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
