would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
