Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it glows. i had to have it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
