Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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