did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
