The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
