the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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