The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
