i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
