This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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