google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
