Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
