whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
