No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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