She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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