i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
