I'm drive I can fine osifer
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
